So as our lives have changed a lot this past year I want to start with the fact that we are truly blessed. I love our little baby girl and God has provided for us every step of the way.
However, am I allowed to say that sometimes I wish things were different? Tonight I am stepping away from the late night fun of our best friends wedding party to let baby E get some sleep. Some might say "I'm a good mom... or she was such a good baby (which I am and she was)," but there are times I don't feel like it. My selfish side says I want to have the freedom to go enjoy being with friends, but my responsible side says your little girl needs sleep and the dance party might not be the best place for it. Sometimes I just don't want to be responsible (add stomping of the feet).... ok I'm done, tantrum over.
I guess as taking on this new role of motherhood I am finding that there is no room to be selfish here. You are now in charge of doing what is absolutely best for your baby and family then yourself finds it's way somewhere at the end of the line. I think of my mom who is always wanting to take care of us. Being a mom will be the most wonderful and challenging thing I have ever done, I pray everyday for strength, wisdom and guidance to do it well.
Keep moving forward to the next joy that is around the corner I know we will find.
We have all felt that way. You are right it is the most challenging and wonderful thing you will do. All of the most wonderful things come with challenges and sacrifices. You are doing a fabulous job, keep it up. There will be other dance parties, but the moments you get to rock your baby are few and fleeting. HUGS! (And I am proud of you for saying it!) ;)
ReplyDeleteYes. You are allowed to say this. And to think it, and even to feel nostalgic and wish for the good old days. We all do, and anybody who says otherwise is delusional or lying. Always be real and own your feelings.
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